notrueking | 003 [VIDEO/ACTION]

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003 [VIDEO/ACTION]

[...so Bradley's made it to the outskirts of Goldenrod, and even though it's cold as fuck out he's engaging in the culinary tradition of every red-blooded Amestrian male: cooking meat on a grill. hell yeah, we are getting some steak up in here.

...however, even though the meat appears to be perfectly cut, it's kind of... not looking so great... even his Skarmory's kind of giving it questionable looks. Probably because it's burnt and therefore not delicious.

After poking at it, he turns to the camera.]

Hmmm, so! I could use some advice here-how do you do this, exactly? It doesn't seem like it should be this difficult, and if I got it down, it could be useful, what with the traveling and all.

[...nevertheless, he doesn't sound particularly frustrated, which is mostly because he doesn't emote. You get pretty good at resisting urges to just flip the grill when you are angry 24/7...!]

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[There are some things you learn to avoid after seven years on the run. Anything that could possibly be tapped is one of them. Isaac's been surveying the Gear for a little while now without actually posting anything. He had no intention of replying to anything... at least until a certain familiar Fuhrer appeared onscreen.]

Bradley. What the hell are you doing here?

[Hey, maybe you won't remember him? Either way, he's not putting his face on this device. Somehow or other he's figured out how to do a voice post already! ~~It's totally his intuition, shush.~~]

[...that voice sounds kind of familiar... is it someone he showed his stabs to?]

At the moment, I'm trying to barbecue some meat. It's not going particularly well.

[WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SOUNDS KIND OF FAMILIAR" IT SHOULD BE VERY FAMILIAR GODDAMMIT BRADLEY]

[...wait did you just...]

[...you did.]

[Hold on, let him facepalm for a moment here.]

[Okay let's... try this again!]

That's not what I... What the hell are you doing here in Johto or wherever the hell this place is? Are you dead...?

[...You can practically hear the "too" added on at the end there. Whoops.]

[well, you can't expect him to remember everyone who he's shown his stabs to. he's shown a lot of people his stabs.]

Roughly the same thing everyone else is, I assume. Furthermore, that's a rather personal question, isn't it?

Personal or not, I want an answer.

[...Isaac that's... not how we social...]

How long have you been here?

I don't see how I'm obligated to give you one. Anyway... about two months, is it? My, time certainly does fly.

Two months? That doesn't make any sense.

[He kind of just died and you were definitely alive before then...]

Not much here does.

[Whatever, man.]

Where are you now?

[WE HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS, GOOD SIR.]

I'm sure you'll figure it out for yourself eventually.

Need some cooking advice, Mr Bradley?

[[YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT GIRL!]]

Well, it certainly couldn't hurt.

Ah, grilling?

I'd suggest seasoning the meat with simple salt and pepper. Too much oil could cause it to burn, like that.

Also, I believe the temperature of the fire should be more controlled! Though, I'm no expert. I've only gotten to grill once or twice. It is quite fun though, don't you think~?

...seasoning? Ah, that must have been it-I was under the impression that you just put the meat on the grill and turned it over every so often...

It's certainly interesting, I'll give you that.

I doubt it'd taste as good without seasoning!

Well, I assumed that's what the sauce was for.

If you season and marinate it before putting it on the grill though, all that will soak into the meat.

Ahh... I see. Perhaps this was not the best sort of thing to start out with, then.

Practice makes perfect, hmm, sir?

That it does! Is there anything else I'm missing?

Not that I can think of... lets see... just keep an eye on them, and it should turn out fine?

Well, I'll give that a shot and see how it turns out!

Good luck, sir! Hopefully it turns out alright.

Yes, hopefully everything will!

[....]

Uhhhh. Have you never cooked meat before?

[He can see smoke. And burnt-over blackness. And his heart, quietly breaking into individual pieces.]

Get that off the fire!

...not quite like this, no...

[on the battlefield, there's no time to cook things. some days you'll feed on a tree frog.

-wait

...so anyway he does, Skarmory just

...looks at him...]

It shows.

Man, I wouldn't give that to a polar bear-dog. Heck, I wouldn't even eat it myself! The thing about fire is that it's destructive and uncontrollable. So you let it burn itself out first, THEN cook over the hot wood or coals.

Ahh, I see. I assumed it was fine, since none of it actually caught on fire...

Bad assumption. It's still charred.

[Just, what is this. This is an affront to good meat. This is tragic.]

Take it off and start over. Right now. Where I can see you.

You take this sort of thing very seriously, don't you...?

[nevertheless, he gets a new hunk of meat out and proceeds to perfectly slice that thing holy shit at least he can get one thing right]

[Yeah, we. We don't like thinking about where you learned that. Or who on.]

No more seriously than you take the cutting.

Now rub some kind of salt or pepper on it.

Hm? I wasn't taking it seriously at all.

[...that's probably even more worrying...

anyway, he does that!]

[...oh good lord

Bradley why do you do this shit to yourself, man]

Do tell me you're not planning on taking the grill with you.

[shut up kimblee, he's going to carve a bloody crest into this grill]

I don't see why not. It's not particularly heavy.

[but will you require a large amount of not!russians to do it]

Perhaps not, but I'd think it would be horribly inconvenient at best.

[yes. yes he will.]

Hmm... I suppose that's true. Perhaps I should catch some sort of Pokemon that would be able to carry it.

[Envy is decidedly unhappy about having to be outside. Have you ever seen Envy wearing fuzzy earmuffs, Bradley? Because he is, in addition to all the normal cold weather clothes like a coat and scarf. Screw this weather, man.]

[Still, he's distracted from being sullen by...is that Pr--Wrath? Grilling? Going over to investigate this.]

Where'd you even get that grill?

[...a very brief look of slight confusion flashes across Bradley's face before he remembers that hey. maybe this Envy does that kind of thing.]

There was a sale. It was surprisingly inexpensive... at least, I assume it was. I have no idea how this currency would translate into cenz.

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003 [VIDEO/ACTION]

[VOICE] - WELP. I'M SORRY, WRATH??

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[VOICE] - FIRST TAG I SWEAR... 1 / 2

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[voice] to start off with; sorry this is late!

[voice] nah it's cool man!

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